New start

About 3 years ago I fell into a really deep depression due to the fact that my husband was cheating on me. The situation left me feeling lonely ,distant from others and just plain miserable. It even got to the point that I wouldn't even like to look at myself in the mirror and avoid it at all cost. Not to mention I still had to be a mother to my 7 year old daughter. It just got really hard for me to juggle my situation and still take care of everything at home. To ease my pain I started to seek spiritual guidance but not through the bible.

I would seek help through tarot cards which was a big No, No that just started to make me go even crazier. So now I felt like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place and I did not know want to do to help my self out this time. I thought It would be a wise decision to seek therapy. On day one of the therapy I knew this wasn't going to work because for what I understand therapist like to start at the root of the cause and for me that was not going to happen ,It was to painful to even think about what I was going through or even what I had been through as a child. So I knew me coming to see this women and making it a crying session every Tuesday was not going to happen. I thought to myself "girl for that you can cry at home for free" and that is exactly what I would do. I made a plan in my head that would allow me to get through the day without feeling miserable. I told myself this cant be it, just get through the day and worry at night so that your child doesn't see you like that. So, that's what I did. I got through the day and at night I would take 4 sleeping pills and a beer to sleep or to even make myself stop thinking because I hated the feeling of being alone at night. At times I would sit and cry for hours and hours.

At that point I had about enough and knew my behind needed help so I got on the web went to google and typed self help for depression wow that right there was a god send because I found so much stuff that enlighten my life right then and there.

I started meditating and visualizing my my life the way I wanted it. I knew that I loved my husband very much, I just wasn't ready to forgive him at that point. I knew it would take time to make me feel better, but I kept telling myself that its my life, my destiny, and that I did not have to be in the situation that I was in.

Im happy to say that because of positive thinking, meditation, and prayer I am doing great. I still have my days but I handle situations so much differently then I would have a few years ago. Me and my husband are still together, I found it in my heart to forgive him. However I am now strong enough to know that if It would to happen again I just need to get up, look at myself in the mirror and tell that man to keep it moving right along. Omg it's liberating to even say that, but we are still very much in love and things work out day by day

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